Can't shut your mind off to be mindful? Find out how to get in the flow.

Recently I was feeling very stressed out about a variety of current events. I recognized the signs that it was starting to really impact my health. So, I decided to take a break and meditate.

Unfortunately, my brain would not stop thinking about all of the things that were stressing me out while I was trying to reduce my stress! It was very frustrating. This is one of the most common reasons that people do not meditate all that often. And it causes a lot of people to give up entirely. This is really unfortunate because the scientific data on meditation is very positive (see below). It has been shown through research to be highly effective at improving our mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Suddenly it came to me, "Why not use cognitive behavioral techniques (CBT) to keep my mind from wandering off and away from my efforts to reduce my stress."

I had used my usual method of searching on YouTube.com for a free meditation that would work for my needs at that time. I searched, "meditation calm focus" And the meditation that I had selected was guided. In other words, someone was speaking instructions and calming words to facilitate a specific effect, to reduce my stress.

About halfway in, I realized that I wasn't benefitting from the meditation because my thoughts were so intrusive and stress inducting. And that is when the idea came to me to use CBT.

My favorite CBT technique is to crowd out negative stress inducing or depressive thoughts with words that are calming and helpful. For example, if someone is afraid to fly and the plane hits turbulence while up in the air, what would they probably think? "The plane is going down." "We are all going to die!" These kinds of thoughts are not helpful at all. They will create stress and anxiety. They may even cause a full blow panic attack on the plane. NOT HELPFUL AT ALL! RIGHT? So what one could do is when they recognize that these thoughts are happening, is to begin repeating a phrase over and over in their head to refocus their thoughts and allow themselves to calm down. I like to use, "It's just like a speed bump." Repeating that over and over, and crowding out the stressful thought, is tremendously helpful. It has allowed me to finally get on a plane and go where I need and want to because, like many other people, I have severe anxiety about flying.

So, during my meditation, I decided to repeat the words of my meditation guide in my head. During the times when she paused, I'd repeat the last words she had said over and over until she started talking again. I was very relieved to find that this worked great at keeping my mind on the meditation instead of my worries.

You may want to try this if, like most people, your conscious thoughts intrude upon your efforts to meditate. Staying focused during meditation can be challenging, but with practice, it becomes easier.

Here are some additional tips to help you stay present and engaged:

1. Start with a Clear Intention

Before you begin, remind yourself why you are meditating. Setting a simple intention like "I am here to cultivate peace" can help guide your focus.

2. Choose a Quiet Space

Minimize distractions by finding a calm environment where you won’t be disturbed. If noise is unavoidable, consider using white noise or meditation music.

3. Focus on Your Breath

Your breath is an anchor to the present moment. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your attention back to your breathing pattern.

4. Use a Mantra or Affirmation

Repeating a word, phrase, or mantra (such as "peace" or "I am calm") can help maintain focus and prevent mental distractions. Or follow the technique above by repeating the words of your meditation guide.

5. Engage Your Senses

If your mind drifts, notice the sensations in your body, the rhythm of your breath, or the sounds around you to stay present.

6. Keep Your Eyes Lightly Closed or Focused

If closing your eyes causes drowsiness, try softly gazing at a fixed point in front of you.

7. Practice Mindful Awareness

Instead of fighting distractions, acknowledge them and let them pass like clouds in the sky. Gently return your attention to your meditation. Pema Chodron has discussed a technique of labeling the thought with the word, "thinking" and watching it float away in your minds eye.

8. Set a Timer

Using a timer (with a soft chime) can prevent the urge to check the time, helping you stay immersed in the practice.

9. Use Guided Meditations

Listening to a guided meditation can provide structure and help you stay engaged, especially if you're new to meditation.

10. Be Patient and Kind to Yourself

It’s natural for thoughts to arise. Instead of getting frustrated, simply acknowledge them and return to your point of focus.

Lie down
Know that if you have mobility issues or fatigue, you do not have to sit on the floor with your legs crossed to meditate. It is fine to lie down on your bed. And often meditations for sleep, or ones that you do first thing in the morning, are perfect for this.

Here are some of my favorite meditations:

When you can't fall asleep; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6Ay9v7gK9w

When you have daytime fatigue and need energy; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kp_4OjtvH2k

When you want to be more productive; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLpoC2UX9Xc

To learn more about the science of meditation, watch this Ted Talk given by Sara Lazar Ph.D. of the Mass General Research Institute and Harvard Medical School https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8rRzTtP7Tc